Megan at the Biltmore Estate
As her elderly aunt, I have known her in all stages of her life. One image I have is of her as a little girl with a head full of blonde curls playing dress up…a favorite pastime. Her mother never fussed at her even if she changed her clothes a half dozen times a day which she loved to do. In middle school came to visit us in Princeton, NJ with her Mom and brother, Ian. She and I were reminiscing about the day we drove to Liberty Park and took the ferry boat to the Statue of Liberty for an up close look at this American icon. It was a hot day and everyone wanted an ice cream but somehow we didn’t get one. We couldn’t remember exactly why. When we bought the Vermont house in 1990 Megan and Ian came East with their Mom for a summer visit in the Green Mountains. The cousins had fun in our spring-fed cold pond and walking the roads up at Great Hawk Mountain.
I remember Megan in a sage green flowered princess style dress which she wore for her graduation from middle school. I was at her high school graduation from Marin Academy when she proudly walked across the stage to receive her diploma in a white, below-the-knee length dress. We cheered for her as she beamed with pride and excitement. Then she was off to Mills College and eventually earned a scholarship to the University of Minnesota for graduate studies and her doctorate in clinical psychology.
Megan came to visit us often from Minneapolis flying into the Burlington, Vermont airport. We would drive up from Rochester to meet her whether it was Thanksgiving, Christmas 4thof July, or spring break. We spotted her coming down the long hallway at the airport carrying her backpack full of heavy school books and her computer. I would fuss at her for carrying so much weight. She would smile sweetly at me and say, “Kris, I’m fine…” Just last Sunday, we met her at the Asheville Airport carrying a heavy backpack . It took me back 20 years. “Megan, I can’t believe this heavy backpack you are carrying,” I exclaimed. “It must weigh a hundred pounds!” She smiled sweetly just as she always had and said “I’m fine.” Then I had to remind myself she is now an adult and why was I still telling her the same things I had when she was a student?
One Christmas in Vermont when Megan was with us, she told me about Cruz Carlos, a Ph.D. Civil Engineer from the U. of California at Berkeley whom she had met online and was dating. This was exciting news. As things progressed in her relationship with Cruz, he had a job offer in Boston. Megan decided to go with him and she found a teaching job in the area. Megan, my California niece would be living in Boston, a mere 3 hour drive from us in Vermont. She called and asked if she could bring Cruz to meet us. “Of course,” I told her. They came for weekends and even spent a Christmas with us in Vermont.. Not surprising that their stay in Boston was short-lived. After two New England winters and they were ready to go back to California even though Megan had lived in Minneapolis for 6 years. Cruz, a Texan by birth, requested a transfer and got it. Megan and Cruz even came to Dubai before they were married and took full advantage of our being there to travel half way around the world for the adventure of it all and to see us.
When Cruz proposed, Megan called me to tell me the news. Then she began to plan her dream wedding a year and a half away for May 2010. She wanted it all, from the long white wedding dress to seven bridesmaids and groomsmen. I remembered her delight in playing “dress up” as a child and how lovely and tasteful her graduation dresses always were. I saw then that she was truly a romantic unlike her mother and even me. She was by far the most beautiful bride I had seen in a strapless lace dress that hugged her tiny slim figure, her usual pony tail combed up and into a stylish swirl, wearing contact lenses to replace her glasses, and make up that was professionally done. Her glittery decorated comfy tennis shoes were hidden by the long skirt of her dress so she could walk easily and be on her feet for hours. She had thought of everything.
"Fairy tale" bride...
She and Cruz asked Art if he would be the officiant and marry them at the wedding. She asked me to make seven necklaces for her bridesmaids that would go with their baby blue long dresses. I scoured bead stalls in the Chinese market in Dubai and bought freshwater pearls to bring home. I designed the necklaces the winter we were back in Vermont before her May wedding. My cousin, Susi and I gave her a shower and we hosted a brunch the morning of the wedding at Susi's big Houston home. I baked six quiches, and we made salad and cut up huge bowls of fresh fruit to feed nearly thirty women guests for brunch! It was fun and Susi and I did it out of love for Megan because she is an easy person to love and do things for.
Megan and Art at the Biltmore Estate
It has been eight years since that May wedding. After Noah was born and when he was two years old Megan had a spring break with no plans and called to ask if she and Noah could visit. She sent me a ticket to San Francisco so I could fly out and spend a few days with her and help her come to Asheville with Noah. She stayed a week and we had fun with a toddler in the house for the first time. Cruz came in a week to pick her up and help her on the trip back to California. Two years later we had planned a big Christmas in Asheville with Megan and her family and Hayden and his family. Sadly, Mother died just a few weeks before the reunion we had so carefully planned. They came anyway and we had a memorial service and Christmas and we all took comfort in being together. Now Megan has Corilynne who is almost 2 and travel is not so easy at the moment.
Last week Cruz took the kids to Texas to visit his family and Megan came to Asheville by herself. The minute she walked in the door I felt she was at home even though she had not been here for four years. She has been with us so often throughout her life that we consider her “one of our own”. She was born two days after my birthday in September almost 42 years ago now. It is uncanny how alike we are in so many of our personality traits. We are both true Virgos - that is, if you believe Zodiac signs and personality predictions. Megan is organized like I am. She is a planner and likes to know in advance what she is doing. I am exactly the same way. We both are the “eldest” in our families and so are “the responsible ones”. Where I was the oldest grandchild of my generation, she is the oldest grandchild of hers. We love to shop together for clothes, we like to have “high” tea on special occasions, and we like to talk about family. (This week we added tea at the Biltmore Estate to our growing list of venues for tea.)
I was excited at Megan indulging herself this week by booking a guided horseback ride on the Biltmore Estate. Remembering how she had her own horse when she was growing up in rural Marin county and how much she loved riding and being around horses, I was happy she chose to do something that brings her such pleasure.
“I haven’t ridden in nearly 10 years,” she told me. “Since before I was married…”.
As a child, the walls of her room at home in Inverness, California had bulletin boards covered with colored ribbons she had won at horse shows. Her bookshelves were full of children’s and young adult books about horses…everything from Black Beauty to Misty of Chincoteague and so many others.
We took her to the stables at the Biltmore Estate and watching her sit tall and straight on the big horse they assigned her to ride made me realize she knew just what to do. “You don’t forget how to ride,” she said. “It’s like riding a bicycle…once you learn you always know how.” I hope that ride will inspire her to find some time in her life when she can do that for herself again.
A riding pro...
Biltmore Estate stables
It was hard to let her go when I took Megan to the airport yesterday and the moment had come to say goodbye. I hugged her hard and told her what I have often said to her “you will always be my other child” and part of our family.
She hugged me back and said “ I know…and you are like my other Mom”.
“Come back next summer,” I urged.
“I will,” she told me. I know she'll find a way to do just that.
Megan at Biltmore Lake...
The Chihuly exhibit at Biltmore Estate
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