A lifetime of adventure...

            Forty-four years ago today, February 16, 1975, was a cold sunny Sunday in New Haven, Connecticut.  There was plenty of snow on the ground, as we headed to suburban Orange where Art and I were to be married at his sister’s house.  Art wore a garish plaid wool suit newly purchased a few days beforehand in New Haven. (Art has often said, “how could I have worn that awful suit?”) I wore a long, white wool wedding dress with gold embroidery that was custom made in a shop in Athens. I brought it back to Connecticut in my suitcase. Art had my gold wedding band,  also  purchased in Athens, securely in his pocket.

February 16, 1975

            We met in Asunción, Paraguay in July 1973 and by December 1974 we had plans to marry.  We had signed contracts for jobs at the International School in Santiago, Chile to start in March 1975.  Our romantic notion of a wedding on a ship to Naples, Italy was  scrapped after phone calls home when both of our mothers begged us to have a real wedding.  “Home” for Art’s mother meant New Haven and a rabbi performing the ceremony . Home for my mother meant Mexico City where they were living, and the Unitarian Minister. So be it!  We would have two weddings. One on February 16^thin Connecticut and one on February 22^ndin Mexico.  Everyone would be happy, and in the meantime we would honeymoon from mid -December until early February exploring Italy, Greece and the islands, Tunisia, Belgium and England.  That is how it was.

Newlyweds in New Haven, Connecticut

            With two weddings behind us, we began married life in Santiago, Chile where I was born but had never gone back to.  We could not have imagined then that Santiago would be the first of eleven moves we have made in 44 years of marriage….an average of one every four years although mathematically it did not work out that neatly.  We have moved within South America, Central America, to Asia, the Middle East and within the US from northeast to southeast. It is no wonder that there is always the possibility our move to Western North Carolina , may not be the last place we ever live. But who knows?  We have been a good team anticipating the next new place we would live that would bring us better jobs, new adventures and travel experiences.  Over the years we have contemplated how it is we have stayed together so long  especially coming from such different backgrounds. Living away from family made us learn to rely and trust each other.  Something we continue to do today. 

            We celebrated today at the Biltmore Inn in Asheville with an elegant afternoon tea and some bubbly for a toast.  Our marriage has been adventurous, fun, and full of love. Living all over the world and the US we now find ourselves asking "where have the years gone?" 

Tea at the Biltmore Inn, Asheville, N.C.

Winter Break

          I sit under Florida bottle Palm trees breathing the fresh sea air and listen to the squawking of the sea birds flying around me. Taking in the flat horizon beyond the sand dunes, I watch the sea grass swaying in the gentle breeze and look to the wide views which extend down the beach as far as the eye can see. I  watch terns, herons, egrets, sea gulls, and other birds running in and out at the edge of the aqua blue water. I have been transported from the Blue Ridge Mountains that surround me at home, to this white sand beach, blue skies and bright February sunshine. 

Julie and Cam's condo

 I marvel how it took only an hour and a half airplane journey to transport me from my barren winter landscape to this .  It feels almost too quick to shed my heavy winter layers for lighter wear…but I do. Suddenly there is a sense of freedom in completely letting go of winter and my life at home.  

Banyan trees in Boca Grande

            A quick decision and a desire to visit Julie, a special Iowa cousin, has brought me  to the Gulf Coast of Florida for a few days. I am savoring each moment.  Sunrise turns the sky pink as I take my breakfast onto the porch and feel the cool morning air like velvet on my skin.  I eat while watching the sky change color and the new day come to life.  There is something magical about living by the ocean.  Julie’s condo opens onto a wide empty beach. Even while indoors your eye is drawn to where the sea meets the horizon.

Endless wide open beach...  

Being by the ocean has always been magical for me even as a child. The sound of lapping waves and the smells of salt and damp air have always been like a soothing balm. Mother used to tell me that at the beach, I was changed as a little girl like a chameleon shedding one color for another. The memories of waking up by the ocean in Villa Gessell or Mar del Plata in Argentina are still vivid.  In Brazil it was Guaruja, in Uruguay it was Punta del Este, in Chile it was El Tabo, Algorrobo and even Vina del Mar and on and on. The only time I ever lived by the ocean was in Dubai. There I wakened each morning sitting up in bed to take in views of the Arabian Sea from the picture window on the 22^ndfloor.  It felt like a dream but lasted  two years. It’s strange how a seascape can remind me of so many others even ones as far away as South America and the Arabian Gulf.

I am in Boca Grande on Gasparilla Island and for these days there is nowhere else I want to be.  Julie and I take a long beach walk each morning in one direction or the other and I savor her companionship.  We can talk about anything and yet I am hungry to talk of family and loved ones who are gone - Grandma Salda who raised  Dad in Cedar Rapids, Aunt Libby who was Julie’s grandmother and a great aunt to me whom I remember for lovely  smile and her excitement at seeing me in Iowa.

Julie  

Julie and I bring our parents to life as we start so many sentences with “I remember when Mom…..”.  Or “I remember your Mom and Dad coming to visit”….or “Do you remember the Thanksgivings I spent with your family when I was in college?”   We talk of our marriages, children, grandchildren, and siblings.  Now in our 70's we have time to look back on our lives and share.

I have found a lovely soulmate in my cousin. It's only in recent years that we’ve come to know each other.  We have lived our entire lives worlds apart… geographically.   It’s fun now analyzing how we are alike . We were born  redheads with mothers who taught us what colors we must and mustn’t wear…“Redheads must never wear red!”    (Julie keeps her lovely red hair and I have let mine go “au natural” to a white blonde). We agree that our beautiful red hair was always one of our best assets.  We have the same favorite colors which we like to wear and surround ourselves with.  Our birthdays are 3 days apart which makes us Virgos. We agree that we are organized, good listeners, but plagued by never being perfect enough. We struggle still with our perfectionist side and know we should let it go.

During my visit we stick to afternoon “quiet time” when we take our thoughts with us  to read or journal or doze – me under Palm trees and Julie upstairs in the quiet of her room.  Later, we come back refreshed and ready for a swim in the heated pool or a Yoga class in town.  

Evenings we are side by side in the kitchen preparing a meal or a few nights we go out to eat.  All week we have talked and talked but there have been quiet moments…times when nothing is needed to fill a silence…a gap that seems already full. 

When I board the plane on Friday morning I feel rested and at peace. I am ready to go home but carry with me our shared thoughts, and memories of a special week with Julie.  And I treasure the gift of being by the sea.