Two weddings...two anniversaries...

……it will be great fun to be married twice…in two different ways with two different sides of the family.  That makes both of us happy and I think will please everyone else.  (letter to Mother and Dad in Mexico City - Nov. 25^th, 1974)

            Ever since we were married in 1975, we have had two wedding anniversaries,  February 16th and February 22^nd.  Little did I know when I went to Paraguay in July 1973, that it would end a year and a half later with two weddings and a lifetime of adventures.

Art and I met in Asunción, Paraguay where we had accepted jobs at the American School of Asunción. Why Paraguay?  Art said he was escaping the monotony of public high school teaching in Connecticut. He had tasted international travel in the Peace Corps in Western Samoa.  Fearless and optimistic, he wanted to explore the far corners of the world.  I was escaping a failed relationship in Vermont. Land locked, remote Paraguay sounded like the end of the world which was was fine by me. I had grown up in South America so it was not totally unfamiliar to me. Art was the entire Social Studies Dept. at ASA and taught all the history classes in the middle and upper school.  I was the K – 12 Librarian in a modern, open media center at a K-12 school of 300 students that had been built with USAID funds as a “model” for Paraguayan educators. Our colleagues were Americans and Paraguayans and the students were American, European expats, and sons and daughters of the Paraguayan elite including the Vice President’s children.

            Art Aaronson was one of the very few single people around and our relationship  began as a friendship and someone to do things with. Our sense of adventure made for fun times in a remote South American city that had little to entice young people in their 20’s like us.  We played tennis, explored the few decent local restaurants, took riding lessons and guitar lessons, worked hard at our jobs, explored nearby resorts in Encarnación (run by Belgian Nazis we later learned)  and Iguaçu Falls. During school breaks we went for long weekends to Rio de Janeiro, Montevideo, and Buenos Aires. During longer holidays I travelled with a British girlfriend, Marilyn, to La Paz, Cuzco and Machu Picchu and then “home” to Mexico City.  In the summer “home” was  Vermont where Mother and Dad had built a house in the mountains.  Art was off to the US and then found cheap flights to India and Asia! We went our separate ways.  Now he wishes he had not postponed Cuzco and Machu Picchu because he has yet to go.

I  was at home in Latin America and spoke the language like a native so I became the translator/navigator.  Art was fearless pushing me to try things I might not have without him.  We were a good match despite our very different backgrounds.  Our friendship grew into love and then unexpectedly into marriage.

      

            In October/November of 1975 Art began talking of where he would go next as his contract was up in December.  My contract was not finished until July but I had decided if Art left Asunción, I would move on as well. I wanted to go to Europe and fulfill my dream of living in London. Art wanted to see more of the world and eventually find a job in another international school.  Fate intervened when Dr. Stimson, the Director of our school in Asunción came back from a conference of headmasters to report that Santiago was looking for a librarian and a social studies teacher.  Would we be interested?  He could put in a word for us. What did we have to lose?  I was drawn to the idea of going back to my birthplace after 29 years.  

            Job offers came through from the International School Nido de Aguilas in Santiago, Chile based on the word of one headmaster to the other.  No interviews or phone calls required…simply a letter and resume expressing interest.  We accepted and told that school would start in early March 1975. We had been planning a big trip after Asunción (with all the money we had saved that we couldn’t find anything to spend on). We would take a boat from Buenos Aires to Naples, Italy and travel during the winter months in Sicily, Tunisia, Greece and eventually visit friends in northern Europe.  I put my dream of London aside temporarily.

            Then, Art proposed but not on bended knee…”we should be married and go as a teaching couple to our new school.”

            I replied, “I am not sure we would be accepted in the school community if we just lived together…so, yes, let's get married."   
          We were 29, had known each other a year and a half and had become each other’s best friend while falling in love.  It felt absolutely right!  I telegrammed my parents in Mexico City and Art called his mother in New Haven.  We had everyone’s blessing. 

 

We scrambled to work out how to have a wedding, travel to Europe and North Africa as we had planned for months, and arrive in Santiago, Chile in early March to start a new life. Rereading my letters home I was struck by how we could make all these arrangements when letters took weeks and often never arrived. No internet, email or Skype of any kind.  Phone calls were prohibitively expensive and without guarantee of a good connection. As time grew short and we were to leave Paraguay to board the Eugenio C, an Italian ship in Buenos Aires for Naples on December 9th, plans needed to be made and dates set.

            November 16, 1974 (telegram to the US Embassy in Mexico City to my father)

Accepted jobs in Chile starting March.  Getting married February Mexico.  Love, Kristina Art…

            November 16, 1974 (a pink notecard addressed to Kristina Sampson, The American School of Asuncion, c/o American Embassy, Asuncion, Paraguay from Celia Aaronson, Art’s mother)

Dear Kristina, I was very happy to hear the good news.  Arthur has made a wonderful choice and I am extremely happy to welcome you into our family.  I am looking forward to your next visit here.  I am glad that you both have a job to look forward to but I wished it was a little closer to home.  I send you both my very best wishes for a life of health and happiness together.  Love,  Celia Aaronson

             November 18, 1974 (telegram from Mexico City)

 Delighted with good news advise when you will be in Mexico so wedding can be planned.  Mother and Dad

  November 25^th, 1974  (from letter to Mother and Dad in Mexico City) 

Yesterday, Art’s Mother called all the way from Connecticut to congratulate us and say that she was counting on being at whatever ceremony we have…and that she had found a rabbi that would marry us even if I’m not Jewish….I was a bit dismayed by all of this…Art explained to me it’s very important to her that we get married by a rabbi.  She suggested we have a very simple ceremony in Connecticut at Art’s sister’s house with just the immediate family.

For awhile we had thought of just marrying in Europe but we slowly began to realize that we really would be slighting family…

December 2^nd, 1974 (from letter to Mother and Dad in Mexico City)

The Connecticut wedding is planned for Feb. 16^th and we think the Mexico one should be the 22^nd or 23^rd.  We’ll arrive Mexico City the 17^th or so…We decided we won’t send wedding invitations but announcements that we were married to send out to friends afterwards….I will call you right away when I get to the U.S. in early February.

          December 4^th, 1974 (letter address to Mr. and Mrs. Richard Sampson in Mexico City)

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself as your future son in law’s mother.  It is unfortunate that we all can’t be together at their wedding.  I met Kristina this past summer and I truly think she is a lovely girl and am delighted to know she is going to be my future daughter-in-law.  I hope they will both be very happy.  I do wish that this will be their last foreign job.  I would love to have them settle down in this country.  Of course, that would be their decision.  I sincerely hope that we will soon meet and get to know each other.  My best wishes for a happy Holiday.  Sincerely, Celia Aaronson

Amazingly I did not call my parents to finalize plans in November but in a letter sent from Naples, Italy I wrote…

December 23rd, 1974 – Naples  (letter to Mother and Dad in Mexico City)

About this wedding – your letters set me thinking about the red tape involved in getting a marriage certificate in Mexico.  Is it possible not to do that and get the Unitarian minister for a ceremony of some sort…We have to get a marriage license in Conn. …then the Jewish ceremony by a rabbi on Feb. 16^th which is very important to Art’s family.  As we will be already legally married in the US we’d like to have a ceremony the following Saturday, February 22^nd and a luncheon.  (Mexican?) would be nice….Invite some of your good friends…I’m going to shop for something to wear at these weddings on this trip…

January 11^th, 1975 – Athens (letter to Mother and Dad in Mexico City)

We ordered a wedding ring here, handmade in gold.  And the wedding dress is being made for me here and is simply out of this world.  I think about wearing it constantly.  It cost a fortune but for 2 weddings we rationalized it.  It’s long white wool with gold embroidery – and a little vest all embroidered which fastens under the bust.  It is typical Grecian design and truly a work of art.  It is worthy of being put in a museum someday.  I shall hand carry it all the way to New York and then to Mexico City. We also ordered some little Greek favors (small pottery cups) to fill with candy and have at both weddings…so the Jewish and Unitarian weddings will be “a la Greek”.

            We flew back to New York in early February arriving at 216 Lawncrest Road in New Haven, Art’s home, in the snow and cold. We had with us the wedding dress, the ring, the favors, and suitcases bulging with treasures picked up on our two month trip which had started when we left Asunción in early December.  Yes, the honeymoon came before the wedding as we went from Buenos Aires to Naples by ship, flew to Sicily and Tunisia, then to Athens and Crete, north to Brussels and London and home to the US.

            Saturday, February 16^th, 1975 was a snowy cold day.  We gathered at Art’s sister’s house in Orange in the afternoon where chairs were set up in the living room and a buffet table in the dining room piled high with food and a wedding cake.  Ceil, Art’s mother, and my new sister-in-law, Saralee, had been working on food preparation for weeks and did it all themselves except perhaps the cake.  Looking back I wonder if I appreciated the work they put into my wedding since all I did was show up and put on my special Greek wedding dress. 

My new sister-in-law, Saralee

          We met Rabbi Samuel Silver shortly before the ceremony and all these years later, I cannot remember a thing he said to me except he gave me a book to read explaining Jewish customs to non Jews.  All of Art’s relatives from New Haven and Hartford came as did his twin brother from Denver, who stood up as Best Man.

          My wedding began as I entered on the arm of my new brother-in-law Peter, and I realized that it was the first Jewish wedding I had ever been to.  I was just happy to be getting married. Art and I stood together in front of the fireplace facing Rabbi Silver.  Art slipped the gold Greek wedding ring on my finger, kissed me, and broke the glass under his foot which symbolizes the absolute finality of the marriage covenant. “Mazel tov” wishes poured over us and I had no doubt that despite our different backgrounds and religions we were meant for each other.

Rabbi Samuel Silver

Brother-in-law, Norm and mother-in-law Ceil

            The day after the wedding, we said sad goodbyes to Art’s mother and flew to Mexico City.  We were loaded with luggage full of wedding gifts and things for our new life in Chile.  We carried with us our wedding clothes, and an official Connecticut marriage license. There could be no greater contrast than arriving at Mother and Dad’s large modern home on a busy avenue in Mexico City from suburban New Haven and Art’s childhood home in the winter.   The Mexico City house was enclosed in high walls with a tall wooden gate so that it was hidden for complete privacy.  We settled in to one of the guest bedrooms at the back of the house and welcomed being waited on by the household staff of maids and chauffeur.  We were officially married but Mother was loving having free rein to plan a wedding for me..the only daughter.  

She hired a caterer who would do a Mexican luncheon with Montezuma Pie as a main course.  Mother made pastel colored table cloths and napkins of soft pink, green, blue, and yellow for the luncheon tables.  A multi- tiered fruit wedding cake with a traditional bride and groom on top came from a bakery.  She had invited at least 40 people, mostly American expat friends but also some close wealthy Mexican friends.  Art’s Uncle Harry Aaronson and his wife Aunt Ruth, whom I didn’t know, traveled by bus from Guadalajara where they were spending the winter,  to be at our wedding.  I was glad there was someone representing Art’s side of the family.  My dear Aunt Mary Blythe, my favorite aunt, flew down from Santa Barbara, California to be there for me. Mother got the Unitarian minister to come and give a full marriage service.

            On Saturday, February 22^nd, 1975 I dressed once again in my Greek white wool  dress, and taking my father’s arm, I walked slowly to the music of Pachelbel Canon in D down the long corridor from the back of the house to the front. Art and I stood in front of an open fireplace in the middle of the large modern living room for the Unitarian service  When it was over lunch was served by extra household staff Mother had hired. As a diplomat’s wife, there was no one more experienced than she was in planning large sit down luncheons and dinner parties.

            We had a good time at our second wedding and received unusual wedding gifts such as a silver tortilla basket and a copper pitcher and tray which we still have and use today.  We have no idea who gave them to us but they represent our Mexico City wedding and have become treasures.

            The day after the wedding we were to fly to Santiago.  My father went with us along with a driver and our mountains of luggage, now filled with even more wedding presents, to the Mexico City airport.  We even had skis that we optimistically thought we’d use in Portillo, the famous Chilean ski resort.  (Art had never been on skis in his life!)  Up until then I had managed to keep track of work contracts, passports, tickets, travelers checks and other important documents but somehow between arriving in Mexico City and leaving I had lost the immigration form in my passport that would allow me to leave Mexico!  I can still remember my father’s anger and yet he didn’t waste a minute "pulling strings" with some of his many local contacts to fix the problem for me. By the time we got through immigration to check in we were about to miss the flight.  The Canadian Air representative checked every last piece of luggage for us without weighing a thing!  We breezed through and were the last to board the plane. 

          We were met in Santiago by an American teacher with driver and car. The room in a pension in Providencia the school put us up in was small and I still carry the image of the mountain of luggage in the middle of the room that we had to crawl over to find the bed at night.  That got us up and out quickly to find a place to live…

March 2^nd, 1975, Santiago  (letter to Mother and Dad in Mexico City)

Greetings from Santiago…The trip was long and the plane crowded so it wasn’t restful.  We simply can’t get over how we weren’t charged one cent of overweight which means we get $200 out of this deal (the school was paying as this excess baggage allowance).

We arrived around noon and one of the teachers was there to meet us….luckily she had a driver and big station wagon to take all our stuff.  We made it with all those suitcases and skis and all…no problems at all in customs…

Not happy with this place (the pension) but luckily we found a place and are moving tomorrow!

And so we began this marriage we are still enjoying 43 years later.  In my same first letter home from Santiago, my first letter as a married daughter, I wrote:

… starting married life far away from home and in a new place has brought us so much closer together.  We have been each other’s support these days and feel the need of one another so much.  I really think that this makes for an even better relationship.  Art is so very good to me...I couldn’t be happier with my new husband.  Still have to remind myself that we are really married.