Holding my Grandson

            “You will always remember how it felt to hold that baby for the first time,” my mother tells me when I call her for the first time from Washington D.C. where we are visiting.  It is just what my mother would say.  She likes to remind me of these milestones from her 94 ½ -year old point of view because she has marked many such special moments.  She was the one that said to me when I was pregnant, “your life will change forever now”.  It did, of course, and I am now a grandmother.

            I have not held a newborn baby in decades and yet the crook of my arm just bends automatically to support Austin’s tiny head as he nestles comfortably against me for the first time.  I love him instantly, of course, as I take in the significance of this first meeting.  He is barely two weeks old and sleeps most of the time.  But when held he nestles comfortably, cooing occasionally like a little dove. Then his eyes will flutter open as if to check and see what is out there in the world he has been born into.  I marvel at how perfectly formed he is from his expressive lips that pucker occasionally as if in a kiss to his tiny tongue he sticks out when searching for something to suck on. His blue eyes are intense as he looks around not quite focusing completely on any one thing. Jessica says he has her frowning expression and Hayden’s perfectly large ears.  He was born with some dark spiky straight hair but in the daylight there are light tufts of blonde hair underneath reminding me of what a towhead Hayden was as a baby.  We all wonder what color will Austin’s hair be…curly or straight…brown or blonde? 

            I like to talk to Austin and in my own way I imagine introducing myself to him as someone who will be part of his life for a long time.  He has only been held by his parents and other grandparents, so this is special.  As tiny as he is I can feel his little heart beating strongly when I cuddle him. Today I discovered he likes to rest over one shoulder and can drift off with his head tucked into my neck.  He has that sweet new baby smell and skin as soft as velvet.

            As precious as he is to me, I love to watch his parents – Hayden and Jessica.  They are totally enthralled with him and he is never out of their sight.  He never cries because they are right there to anticipate what he needs – his feeding,  a diaper change, a tummy rub or a burp.  He is so indescribably loved as only your own child can be.

            I hold this new little grandson and know that I will have the joy of watching him grow up.  And I will now be the grandmother who will say to him someday “I remember exactly the first time I held you in my arms.”